Hi everyone! I have to be honest here: I’m kind of in a blah mood today. Honestly, things this week have been a bit off. I was sick last week but kept running, hiking, etc until I finally crashed on Sunday. I was sooooooo tired I slept the entire day on Monday (thank god I had off!) and then attempted to go for a run to make myself feel better, which ended in me almost passing out and having to call Andrew to pick me up. Ugh. Since then I’ve been feeling down, and since this blog is an accurate account of my life I feel the need to get this all out so you’re not like “Why is Kristen not happily posting about her own runs anymore?”. Yeah. So here we go…
Confession: I think I’ve been trying to do too much. All of this sunlight makes me want to hike and run late at night, and living in what is basically a dorm is making me want to spend all my free time hanging out with the awesome people who live here. I never get any down time to relax on my own and I usually don’t get enough sleep. I’m 27 years old now, I should know better than to act like a college kid again!
Confession: After nearly passing out after running only 1.5 miles on Monday, I am scared to lace back up and try again. It is not fun trying to run what is normally a short distance and having your body say no. I think I’m over my cold but I just don’t feel like trying again right now only to fail again. Just not in the right mindset for more failure right now. I know this is silly but we’ve all been there and it’s the worst trying to get over it.
Confession: It’s not like I’m super pumped to go running anyways since it’s pouring outside and we are having quite the storm system settle into Seward over the next few days. Running in the cold rain after getting over a cold does not sound like the smartest idea. I can pay $4 to go to the gym downtown for 1 day, but we’ll see if it has to come to that. But I do have that long run to do…
Confession: My next half marathon is in less than 2 weeks and with my cold last weekend stopping all running plans, my longest run so far is only 8 miles. I gave myself no wiggle room for things like illness, so now I feel like I’m screwed. I want to go out this weekend and do 9 or 10 just to put my mind at ease, but I’m worried. Even though all of my long runs this training cycle have gone well, there just seems to be a large difference between 8 miles and 13.1 miles. The one bright spot in all of this is that my long runs have been so much faster than they were in the past half marathon training cycles, so that gives me hope that I can handle it if I keep my pace a bit slower. Maybe all the hiking is helping?
Confession: Sometimes I would rather hike than run. Which makes me wish I was better at trail running, and that people would stop getting mauled by bears while running in Anchorage so I could be brave enough to try it (yeah, it just happened again). I don’t know if hiking is a good cross training exercise for runners, if someone knows anything about that they should let me know so I feel better about doing it constantly.
Confession: I’m starting to get tired of everything. I’m just don’t feel like being brave and strong anymore, which are the two things you need while doing anything in Alaska. Even going to work makes me tired (although 10 hour days will do that to you). I’m in such a funk and I don’t know how to get out. I miss my family and friends, a routine I was used to, the ability to just relax in my own apartment, being able to watch TV, and conveniences like nearby shopping and fast food. I know things will be better when we move to Anchorage, but I’m just in a crappy mood right now. Blah.
Confession: I need to start looking for a permanent job/apartment in Anchorage very soon and it’s stressing me out. The idea of going through yet another job search/move makes me want to cry. Plus I don’t know what type of job I want (should I go back to working with kids? Stay in an office job?) and the idea of starting something new is scary.
Confession: I made brownies yesterday and I am eating them as I type this. My food situation has been a mess since my birthday and I really need to stop eating cookies and start eating more carrots. But they’re Ghirardelli and insanely yummy so I don’t feel too bad :)
And for my last confession: I know I’m being a whiny mess and that everything is going to be okay, but sometimes it just feels good to vent while eating a brownie and searching for flights home to visit my family in the fall. I think things have been going so well here all summer that I was bound to start feeling burned out, tired, and a bit homesick. I would much rather be here in Alaska than anywhere else, but this week has been crappy so far and the storm we’re getting won’t really help put me back in a good mood. And I’m not looking for any pity here, just the opportunity to share how I’m feeling in case other people are feeling the same way right now. You’re not alone :)
So to turn things around, I’m making some goals to focus on between now and August 1st:
- Eat at least 1 fruit and veggie a day
- Only let myself get 1 fancy coffee drink per week at work. My coworker and I are big enablers and can peer pressure each other into getting coffee (we have so many cute fancy coffee places in town) but I can’t afford it and neither can my waistline. Free office coffee will have to do.
- Do one run each week where I don’t care about time/distance. I love running but not when it’s stressful or feels forced.
- Go for a hike if I feel homesick. Even the short 1 mile trail in town is pretty enough to make me feel better about everything.
- Get more sleep. Like seriously, a 10:00 bedtime needs to be in order.
- Start doing workout videos in my room when I can’t run. My internet connection is horrific but if I can download some yoga or Barre3 to do a few times a week I’m sure I’ll feel better.
- Plan another mini-vacation with Andrew for August. I need something fun to look forward to and a chance to get out of Seward for a few days and not have to think about work. Maybe Homer?
Thanks for reading all of this nonsense, and hopefully next time I’m on here I’ll be feeling a bit better and have more positive running news to report!
How do you cheer yourself up when you’re feeling down/nervous/stressed? What is the shortest long run you’ve ever done while training for a half?